"Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
These wise words by Chris Bradford, a famous martial artist and author, empowered me to understand my own potential for true strength. And most recently, they've reminded me that holding myself together is always worth it if I want to continue cultivating my best self.
I used to give up. All the time. For no good reason. And yes, it was easy. But thanks to Jiu-Jitsu, I no longer desire "easy". I no longer want a complacent life. Jiu-Jitsu has awaked my soul's understanding of how it fits within this physical body. Now, I desire to push the boundaries of my strength and human power. And that simply will not happen if I keep living with a "just give up" mentality.
Now is the time for me to hold it together. It is truly a test of what I have learned so far in my Jiu-Jitsu journey. Can I prove my tenacity? Can I prove my mental fortitude? Can I prove that I can hold it together and NOT give up just because I got a little uncomfy?
Yes. I can, and I will.
I received my first belt stripe in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu the day before I received my first BJJ-related injury. I was ecstatic about this achievement and that of the women I roll with. How had time passed so quickly? How were we really at the point where someone could say we might have some sort of clue what we are doing out on the mats?
It was a shocking moment of self-reflection, proof that we were well underway on one of the most badass journeys of our lives. It was transformational.
But the next day, my shoulder hit the floor just wrong during takedown drilling, and just like that, I crashed from the high of receiving my first stripe. This sudden setback was particularly difficult on my ego. I had just told the world on social media how cool I was for earning that stripe. Plus, how embarrassing to get hurt in class?
I felt a torrent of emotion the first few days following the injury, most of which were unfamiliar to me in this context. Yet (were you ready for it?), the lessons I've learned from Jiu-Jitsu have helped me through it.
One of the most important lessons I've learned from Jiu-Jitsu is the power of positivity.
You simply cannot take negativity onto the mats with you - there is no room for it. Each day you show up, you show up with the intention of improving yourself, which is inherently a positive outlook.
During every single roll, you don't simply give up when an opponent lands a move. You move forward - you figure out what's next, and you get there. We're always looking and moving forward, no matter what our partner throws at us, until it's time for someone to tap. But never before then.
This lesson has been particularly valuable since I fell on my shoulder. It's easy to get discouraged, especially when you can't do something you love, but it's important to find the positives and maintain a positive mindset.
Being positive isn't about denying negative emotions or pretending everything is okay. It's about acknowledging the negative and finding ways to be optimistic about the future.
At 30 years old, Jiu-Jitsu became the first sport I've ever truly practiced. Thus, I've had no sports injuries in the past that have barred me from doing something I'm passionate about. I once broke my foot while out for a run, but I hated running, so it was easy to simply stop, heal my foot, and never again take up running. I had a fantastic excuse to "just give up" for a solid 12 weeks.
But now, the thought of being out of BJJ practice is, to be honest, pretty depressing if I stop and think on it for too long.
When I fell, I heard and felt two pops in my shoulder. That and the pain were enough for my husband to stress an ER visit, where thankfully, I was told nothing was broken. But the severe pain and the sudden restriction of movement left me with a deep feeling of not being whole.
I went to class yesterday just to take notes which turned into taking videos, but not being able to do anything else was both frustrating and just plain sad. My aching shoulder was a concrete wall standing between my passion and my ability to practice it.
For me, Jiu-Jitsu is more than a sport - it's a way of life. I love it, and not being able to actively participate crushed me.
Still, right from the start, I faced the situation with positivity. One of the key rules I live by is don't suffer twice. Meaning, don't worry too hard when a situation is still uncertain. Don't worry too hard before a big, scary event. Because you're suffering when you worry, then suffering again when actually going through the ordeal. Why would you want to suffer twice?
I didn't know for sure what happened to my shoulder at first, so I didn't immediately start panicking and planning out the rest of my life post-arm-amputation. I breathed, deeply, and chattered away about nonsense as we waited on results.
In those moments spent waiting, I chose to see healing and a positive outcome, rather than the worst possible situation. I visualized myself practicing breakfalls and how to somersault as soon as I could back on the mats.
I know for a fact that my shoulder will heal, and I'll be rolling again in no time. I leave no room in my brain for doubts or negativity. They serve me no purpose despite all the energy they consume. And right now, I can focus that energy on other things (like this blog) during my downtime.
More importantly, I view my setback as a test that I plan on acing.
The injury itself is neither good nor bad, positive nor negative - it simply is. I get to ascribe a purpose to it, and the purpose I'm giving it is to prove to myself that I can hold it together and stay the course, even through setbacks.
As crucial as positivity is to my recovery, I've also realized that it's equally important to allow ourselves grace in these moments.
Grace means being kind to yourself, forgiving yourself for not being perfect, and giving yourself permission to feel difficult feelings. Grace is the permission to be both positive and negative, to find the good and the bad in every situation. And as humans, we should be kind enough to ourselves to allow for both.
I've never been a particularly graceful person physically (hence the injury, and amazement that I haven't gotten injured sooner), but I can say damn well that I can navigate any situation with grace if I so choose. Sadly, with us humans that almost always means extending grace to others - but what about ourselves?
We must, absolutely must, allow ourselves the same grace that we would allow others. If a fellow practitioner got hurt on the mats, would you shame them and tell them to just give up? Hell no! So don't do the same to yourself.
So, I simply remind myself that I am only human. A soul, in a body. Injuries happen. I do forgive myself for not being perfect. I told myself that I have permission to feel these difficult feelings, and then I gave give myself the direction to work through them and come out emotionally and mentally stronger.
The universe gives us nothing we cannot handle - because we are all capable of handling anything if we just hold it together, then adapt to and conquer the situation.
True grace is understanding that even through a setback, you have the option to ask the question, What lesson is this trying to teach me? Meditate on that. Then get to work learning and growing.
As I start to figure out how to work through my injury, I find myself reflecting on the story of Hercules - a powerful mortal who had to endure 12 difficult labors, each one more challenging than the last. He persevered, drawing strength from his inner resilience and determination, and ultimately emerged victorious.
His story reminds us that victory isn't just about reaching the end goal, it's also about the journey. We'll all face setbacks and challenges, but it's how we face them that determines our success.
So, if you're going through a sports injury, remember that you're not alone. Even the greatest warriors and heroes of the past had to endure difficult times before achieving victory. You'll come out of this stronger than ever before and continue to thrive in the sport you love.
Remember that it's okay to feel frustrated, scared, or uncertain. It's okay to feel both positive and negative emotions.
Maintain a positive mindset and allow yourself grace. Ice your injury, take cold showers, see a medical professional as needed. Listen to the experts, and listen to your body.
But no matter what you do, don't give up. That'd be too easy.
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